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One of the greatest compliments I have ever received was, “Your kids feel comfortable in their own skin.” I mean, what more can a mom ask for than to have children confident with who they are? When I say “confident” I in no way mean arrogant or selfish. No, I mean, OK with the life God has given them.
In our family, my daughter, Emily, (the one that looks like me) embodies this the most, I think. The casual certainty in what is deemed important is woven throughout most areas in her life. Just shy of 16 years old, Emily will tell you it is the trials she has been through that has helped her to avoid the typical teenage torrents. I will tell you she arrived in this world with a rare mixture of quiet, independence.
As a little thing she often eyed people with a, “who are you and what are you doing in my world” kind of look. Nap times did not consist of snuggling Mommy until you succumb to sleep. Nope, it was, “I want my own bed period” kind of stuff. Emily’s prayers were solidly consistent. In fact, I am sure both the Hubster and I could have recited it verbatim. Breakfast, lunch, dinner, bedtime or just because, it was the same exact prayer every time. 
Every time but one. I was listening to her expected prayer when, quite matter of fact, she interrupted her familiar supplication with, “and Jesus please be in my heart.” No big deal just accepted the Messiah as her Lord and Savior, that’s all. She then continued on as usual. But things weren’t usual after that. My opinionated, selective little five year old seemed to soften. Sweetness was seen more often as well as other honorable personality traits. I remember asking our Children’s Pastor whether her request that night counted or not. I was used to Eric, 19 months older and reminded of his sin daily. He accepted the Savior every time his head hit his pillow, just to make sure.
Soon, at school as well as at church, Emily would be the child who would embrace the new kid and make them feel comfortable. She began to feel for others and see things from differing aspects. This new emotional self seemed to confuse her for awhile. I remember sitting in the movie theater with tears streaming down her cheeks as she watched Boo’s door disappears through the chipper. In early elementary school, her two closest friends were heated rivals. The girls would literally fight over who could sit with my daughter. During those moments she did not feel safe but, at the same time, didn’t want to hurt any one’s feelings. Our solution was to have Emily ask the teacher choose a different friend to sit by. Then there was the seven year old Tom Cruise look-a-like who was adamant at stealing a kiss from her, more than once, at school. She was so little she didn’t even understand the emotions she was experiencing. I would often need to shore up my daughter’s overactive empathy, giving her the tools she needed to get through her day.
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| Amazing pic of an Amazing girl by an Amazing Photographer |
Those tools would come in handy when she was no longer the youngest in the family. Her first three little siblings would put her through the emotional wringer. It didn’t take long before she was able to strengthen herself and stand firm as their big sister. When we came to Eric and her with the news of a fourth, now biological, sibling, she cried. Going from zero to three little brothers and sisters in about a year had taken it’s toll. “I don’t want anymore siblings!” was her lament that night. I explained to her that, when Eric was ten months old, I certainly wasn’t looking to get pregnant. I wouldn’t have missed out on her for the world though.
After that, she was my biggest cheerleader. Now, she is Jillie’s biggest fan also, as well as being a huge fan of the rest of her siblings and anyone else who falls into her circle. At any time a conversation with my oldest daughter you can tell that her family is extremely important to her. In fact, when given the opportunity to speak solely about herself, she almost always will fit in family also.
I love that God has taught her to “roll with the punches“. Life is too short to take it so seriously. At the same time, it’s too long to not do something about it. Living a life with purpose as well as humor has been her strong point and will get her far.
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| Amazing pic of an Amazing girl by an Amazing Photographer |
