Not the friend sitting in the courtroom
I am THAT friend. You know, the one you invite places but never seems to be available. I’m the one who you called the other day to chat with, only to leave a message and not receive a return call. I’m the one who replies to texts in one, two or maybe three word phrases. I’m the one that gives the appearance of not wanting to take the time for you because of all of my distractions.
It Dawned On Me
Today, I have been messaging a sweet friend. Her family looks similar to mine. Adoption and Down syndrome make up part of their clan too. Her calendar looks a lot like mine also. When we DO get to chat (remember our family dynamics?) we really get each other. As I type, she is waiting to see if she “gets” to be one of nine jury members in a case I know nothing about. Yesterday, she told me about this opportunity scheduled for her today. I told her I never get called because the kiddos I have need me at home. She replied that she has help for the kids and the experience might be interesting. I started thinking, “Why?” Then it dawned on me! Adults! She will be sitting in a room FILLED with adults. More than likely none of them would need anything from her let alone ask anything of her (accept the lawyers). All of a sudden, this time spent in a courthouse, didn’t sound so bad. In fact, it kind of sounded a little on the euphoric side of things.
Doing Something Similar
As we are typing back and forth this morning, I have come to realize that I am doing something similar. The Hubster has to have surgery on his shattered wrist this afternoon. What am I doing? I am kind of looking forward to sitting in a waiting room or MAYBE even the cafeteria and READING! What???? Time to read? The last time I did that was, oh wait, on the flight across the country last week (“Scoot Over and Make Some Room” by Heather Avis) . You remember, the one where I became the driver for said Hubster and son because someone had fallen and, wait for it, broken their wrist in Lake Eerie. Time to myself when the house isn’t begging for my attention or my thoughts are constantly making U-Turns to “What IS for dinner”” (The answer is chili! Thanks sweet friend who is patiently sitting in a courtroom right now!) Time to myself, a break in my daily living is almost an overwhelming thought.
Sweet
I received a text from a sweet young, married, new mom who used to come to sleepovers at my home. She asked if we would like a meal delivered. At first my thoughts were, “That is super sweet but I am not the one who is incompacitated.” I was about to reply when my mind shifted to, I am the ONE who is picking up the slack that extra hand provided. So, my response turned into a “That is sweet, I would really appreciate a meal.”
A Chance to Breathe
I must have had a chance to breathe yesterday because I found myself gazing at a precious baby boy born without eyes, who is up for adoption, in Russia. My mind began to think of the possibilities he would have if he was living under our roof. After all, our school houses Arizona School for the Deaf and Blind. Did I think, 53 YEARS OLD? Did I think, SEVEN CHILDREN? Did I think I AM TIRED ENOUGH ALREADY? Nope, I thought of the opportunities he would receive, the challenges we could overcome, the snuggles we would share. Thankfully, as I pray for the beautiful family he will become part of, I have come to my senses. I need to give others the chance to store their treasures in Heaven. I need to remember that the time I spend on myself is important.
We All Have Stories
We all have our stories and that most have something intense going on in their lives at any given moment. Some of us, though, may have a few extra intensities in our day to day lives. What is odd is the tendency of chaos feeling “normal” to us. So when things do slow down, which is rare, we can feel a little uncomfortable or even selfish.
More Like Me
I know there are more out there like my friend and me, we just don’t run into each other. When we do happen to stumble upon another like us, we tend to keep to ourselves. The extra effort of making contact can be just a little too much. If they were to approach us, though, it would be an entirely different story. I would have the inclination to “drop everything” and provide support where needed. I am sure she would do the same for me. Still, I need friends to hang out with. I need friends to chat on the phone or text with. I need friends who will be patient with me and continue to invite me places even though they are sure I will have other priorities.
Heather Avis is a mom like me!
Don't Give Up
So my future friends, don’t give up on me. I don’t mean to forget to return a call. I don’t mean to use shorter answers. I don’t mean to always seem busy. For you I will do my best to be available. Just remind me.
(If you happen to see a beautiful baby boy born without eyes up for adoption, pray for his future family. Who knows, it may be us. 😉 )
